This is a story that happened at work. Sometimes I just don't get people. I'm fairly misanthropic but I don't like most of ALL people, so at least I'm fair about it. No, this is just one of those stories that makes me wonder how far up their own ass the average human head can go.

For those of you who don't know (we're all the same color on the net) I'm white. I'm also, I like to think, one of the least racist people around. Make that not at all. I think white people are kinda boring sometimes. Dating? That's another story but we can just shorten it and say that I prefer dating non-white men of various shades and flavors. But this story isn't really about me.

So I was at work the morning of Friday the 13th and the moon was only one day away from being full. I should have expected some weird shit. If you don't know (why would you?) I work in one of the big home improvement stores and I'm generally considered to be good at it. Customers love me even if I don't love them back. I was over on isle 14 doing some work when the help button went off at my department desk (you push the damn thing and it announces to the whole store that "Special Assistance Needed at ________" and it fills in the location of the help button. It's annoying as all fuck but the store is so huge that it's a necessary evil. Ok, so I go over to the desk, switch off the button and proceed to help the customer, who happens to be a black lady. Wait, no.. woman. A wise teacher once told us, "All ladies are women but not all women are ladies."

As I usually do, I thought nothing at all about anything but what I could do to help her quickly so she could be on her merry way and I could go back to what I was doing. I made her a copy of her car key. She asked if we had something, which we didn't. I know because at least once a month for the last year someone has asked for it and we have never had it before. I politely told her that and suggested a nearby hardware store where she might find it. She left the desk area. I did a little work on the computer there before heading back over to isle 14. With me so far? Seems like a nice normal transaction, doesn't it?

When I turned the corner on 14, she was there asking another employee if we had that thing she wanted. Ok, that's a bit insulting. If we had it, I'd sell it to you wouldn't I? If I didn't know if we had it or not I'd find out before saying that we don't. But fine, if someone wants to ask every employee in the store the same question just to make sure we all agree, it's their time to waste.

My co-worker told her we didn't have it and suggested a nearby hardware store where she might have better luck. Good going! Thanks. She left again.

About ten minutes later I found myself back over at the desk doing something when Racist Bitch returned. "I KNOW you were following me." I was confused for a few seconds. I thought maybe she caught me leering at her with lust and was about to tell her she might be barking up the wrong tree. But that wasn't it.

"You followed me down that isle to make sure I didn't steal that key. I don't appreciate being treated like a criminal. MICHAEL (just to be sure I knew that she knew my name, you know I'm ever so frightened by people knowing my name. I guess that's why it's plastered on my fucking chest.) So you're a Team Leader?" she said with disgust. "I came back to tell you I'm filling out a complaint about YOU."

I probably said something innocenlty confused sounding, being that I was innocently confused. Then my brain caught up (I'm a bit slow before 9 a.m.) and told her "No, that's not it at all. I was working on that isle before you needed your key and when I was done I went back to what I was doing over there. It had nothing to do with you or your key."

She wouldn't have that. No. She knew I was following her because I think all black people are shoplifters. Whatever.

I tried again to defuse the situation, pointing out the massive number of boxes and general mess she saw on isle 14. I really was working over there.

"You're lying, I know when I'm being followed."

Anyone who knows me at all knows that I have a pretty short tolerance for rude, obnoxious, stupid people who can't listen to reason and it doesn't matter a bit what color they are.

"Fine, the store manager's name is Amie. Go fill out your comment card. I'm done talking to you." and I left.

Here's where it starts to get a little funnier.

Our customer service manager, Michelle, is a black lady. She's very cool. A little uptight sometimes, but she's supposed to be uptight. We get along just fine. My bitch customer told Michelle her story. Even though I wasn't there to hear, I imagine Michelle gave her the courteous concern of anyone making a complaint, all the while knowing that it's a crock of shit. Lots of nodding and "mmm hmm" I bet.

Todd, the white boy, higher up in the management chain, overheard a customer complaining. He stepped up and asked what the problem was. Twat told her story again, but Todd knew I really was working on 14 and told her so. He added that he really didn't think I was following her. She told him to "Go away, I'll talk to Michelle, she understands."

Todd went away. Eventually Racist Bitch went away too. When the coast was clear I went up to ask Michelle about it. Her answer was, "she's crazy!"

Later that day I passed Todd in one of the isles. He asked if I were following him.

Alright, that's the end of the story but it still bothers me. Not because of anything to do with me, really. I know I won't have any trouble at work because of this. That's not the real point. If that were the whole situation it wouldn't even bother me enough to write about it.

I'd like to find this woman again, invite her out to Starbucks so I could really sit down and talk to her. Alright, yes, I'm not a people person. It shouldn't bother me what other people think. Sometimes it does. I'm not really even bothered by the whole misconception of what I was doing or not doing or how it was misinterpreted. Fuck all that.

The thing that really bothers me is the world this poor woman must be living in. Everywhere she goes, everything she does, every white person she sees is out to get her. Everyone treats her like a criminal or like trash or like whatever... even when they're not. Everything a white person says to her goes through her little misinterpretation filter so it can be turned around into something racist. I think she's really not happy unless she's being victimized. Maybe she just needs to feel powerful and that threat of "I'm going to complain about you" makes her feel that. I don't know. I shouldn't care but for some sick reason I actually do.

I wasn't born yesterday. I know there's real racism out there. I know she probably sees it a lot more often than I do. She's probably had some really bad experiences. This is the south and even if it's the 21st century there are still a lot of rednecks around here. I get all that, I really do. There are going to be times when she has to stand up for herself. This isn't about me being a clueless cracker.

I can't help feeling that she's making the world a worse place to live than it really is, all because of her perceptions of it. From her perspective it's just not possible that a white male could make a key for her, give her product advice and not work race into the situation in any way. She seems to be fighting racism but she's actually encouraging it. She's judging me and my actions based on the color of my skin and coming to the wrong conclusions. That's just as wrong as someone doing the same thing to her.

I dunno. It's just sad, that's all. Can we really change the world around us without changing ourselves first? Probably not, but I wish her all the luck. She's going to need it.

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